I ever tell you about the time I donated my kidney to a complete stranger? what an intro, huh. where do I begin? at the time, I was married. im a mom so I was a stay at home mom and I went off to my favorite nail shop to get my nails and toes done. if you know me, you know this is my only self care ritual I partake in once a month. its a reset. a refresher. a pull back to myself. it was a beautiful May afternoon. first up! hands. I naturally dislike my hands so I take my time always choosing a color and shape to help amplify my femininity. i’ve a good artist so he takes his time. he saves the best for last, my feet. i’ve got small, petite feet. so when we get to this part of my ritual, he pours me a glass of white. I had social media at this time. twitter, instagram. I was so bored out of my mind though that I decided to download Facebook again and log in. at the time, I had my Facebook account deactivated for years. 6 or 7 to be exact. Facebook was never my cup of tea. BUT, I decided to log in and take a peek. im scrolling, having my feet massaged and sipping on white. heaven. I come across a post a friend of mine reposted (is that what it’s called on Facebook?) on her feed which ended up on mine. a man’s daughter was posting her dad’s story. an older little Mexican gentleman who was in need of a living donor. he was on the wait list for a kidney but he wasn’t doing too good. he had 3 children. 2 girls and 1 son. they were all adults, with his youngest being in her early 20’s. I read that post over and over again. I was drawn to this story. I think because he reminded me of my grandpa. when I was a kid, my grandpa, my dad’s dad, was my best friend. he had so many health complications and I was there to give him his insulin and feed him his pills. we’d laugh and joke together and say things like “thanks, bay-be-bay-beh!”. I think you’d have to be there to get it. closest thing I had to my father. closest thing I had to A father. I digress. my toes were finally finished and I locked my phone. blasted music all the way home but that drive felt out of place. I was in a trance. I couldn’t get that story out of my head. what’s more? I didn’t delete Facebook. I went home and proceeded to cook dinner. play with my kids, clean my home. the next morning I awake with that story on why mind. I open Facebook and find the post. I re-read it. “you can survive with one kidney right?” I jot down their number and call. I ask to speak with Elizabeth. she was the youngest. I ask some questions. who they were, what his conditions were, what did I need to do. she took my information down and told me that she’d be in contact. a day later, I hear from Melissa. she was our coordinator. she asked me if I was the one interested in possibly donating my kidney. instantly I say YES! of course there are a series of tests that needs to be completed. im on board. we schedule a day im to go to Baylor University Medical Center, part of Baylor Scott & White Hospital. I was to arrive at 8am. I had no idea this was going to be an ALL day affair. i saw doctor after doctor. nurse after nurse. I was seen by a therapist and a psychologist. I was asked if I was sure this was what I wanted to do. weighed. probed. poked. scanned. the final test was getting the dye in my veins and ran under a CT scan. the warm sensation feeling like I had just urinated on myself while staring at white lights and then suddenly feeling a sense of coldness. I walked out around 6pm and crying. it was kind of an overwhelming experience. so much happened in a span of 10 hours and I went through that day by my lonesome. no matter, I didn't back down. it was just a moment in time, it was ok for me to feel so much, so heavy. a week later I got a call from Melissa informing me that I was what..? guess… A COMPLETE MATCH. yeah. I was his complete match. that meant, I was the perfect candidate. I had no prior health issues. my blood type, was his blood type. by this time, we had entered June. June 1st which was a Thursday. she informed me I would get to pick the date of the surgery. I asked her what her next available date was and she said June 13th. I chose it. I was eager to help. also, I struggled with the month of June already as it was. June is such a hard month for me. I despised it. June 12th was my dad’s birthday, he passed when I was 5. June 6th is my grandpa’s birthday. you know the grandpa I said reminded me of this story. yeah, him. June 16th is that same grandpas death anniversary. June is the month of father’s day. so I repeat, June is a month I would kind of isolate and hide from the world. Melissa also told me that I would get to be the one to let them know. I was over the moon. I was filled with joy! this was amazing!
now, let’s introduce the man that became another father to me. the family that embraced me as their own; the Carrera’s. Genaro, Yolanda, Elizabeth, Jessica and Genaro Jr. I picked up the phone and called Elizabeth and told her I had news. I WAS A MATCH!!!!!! you must know, in between all of my doctors tests and calls with Melissa and offshore, the Carrera’s and I connected. we didn’t know I was a match then but they were just grateful I was willing to be tested to see if I would qualify. they called and checked in everyday. not because they wanted an answer but rather, they genuinely cared. so when I was given that joyous news, I instantly shared it with them. I remember all of us crying over the phone and being so happy. we ended that call with love in the air. they would later send me a video of them telling Genaro and Yolanda sitting on the couch. if you’re Mexican or of Hispanic descent, you know seeing the men cry is such a rare sight. seeing him cry over tears of happiness and relief, i’ll never forget. we had a week to go. we planned a dinner at Olive Garden and we got together. it was our first actual meet-up. i’d never met them in person. they were lovely. everything I felt and knew they’d be. we all hugged and cried. the amount of emotions that filled that dining room that day.
June 13th, 2017 rolled around and I was awake at 4:30am. I had packed a bag and loaded up my car with my son and my ex-husband. we parted our home and headed to the hospital. I had to be there at 5am so we could check-in. everything was so bright. my hair was in a bun, I didn’t wear my contacts but my glasses. I can’t lie, I was scared. I didn’t care though. I was going to do this. you have until right before they mask you to back out. not me though. I never felt like I had to run away. and I usually keep a runaway bag in my trunk and in my closet. I was in the gown and my son laid next to me in the hospital bed. I was hooked up to the IVs and shortly after, they wheeled me to the back. I remember being scared but doing breath work. straight ahead was a clock on the wall. I watched it. waited. shivering because I was cold. lights out. I dont remember a thing after. it was black and then I woke up and was being wheeled in an elevator headed to my recovery room. I was loopy. the drugs really did a number and thank goodness. I was swarmed with flowers and visitors whom I had no idea who they were. yet I was thankful. and so were they. they were Genaro’s family from Mexico and Dallas. all I could ask was how was he. and every time, they always informed me he was doing well but sleeping. he got out faster than I did. I had had some complications with my medication so I could feel everything and I was in dire pain. I was released 4 days later and my body had 3 scars on my tummy and 1 big one right above my hairline. it took about 6 weeks for me to fully heal. I didn’t care. apart of me was now in someone else and saving their life. later i’d find out that he was right across the hall from me as I was having my surgery done. I don’t know why that makes me happy. we’d become a family forever afterwards. he became a grandpa to my children as they don’t have one. to see him be this healthy, beautiful man and to know I helped save his life made me believe in life again. you know, it took 3 years after our surgery for my kidney to completely take. meaning, it wasn’t going anywhere. it was no longer at risk of being rejected. the most beautiful symphony to my ears getting that phone call. June was my new favorite month despite the pain it ensued.
in December of 2020, I find out that Genaro passed away due to other health complications. and when I found out, i’d never howled so fiercely at the moon before. how could something like this happen?! I know the Carrera’s feel one way that they lost their father and husband. I could never imagine their pain. I on the other hand, felt cheated by God. he got 3 more years but it didn’t feel like enough, it didn’t feel fair. he was just here smiling at my son and telling me if we needed anything, he’d be here. and then, he was gone. in a blink of an eye. and it felt like me donating my kidney was for nothing. and something I struggled with for a long time, a piece of me died. im not just saying that. a LITERAL piece of me died. apart of me was dead and the other was just walking around grieving a man who was like a father to me and grieving a piece of me I had to let go. I struggled with my faith at this time. I wasn’t religious but I did believe in God. oh I cursed the sky. it pained me that this beautiful family lost someone so beautiful. how painful they must feel. it wasn’t fair. I lost myself for a month or 2.
I love to read to I was in a bookstore and I stumbled upon a book called Signs, The Secret Language of the Universe by Laura Lynne Jackson and I dove right in. This led me down my spiritual path. Slowly, I was able to get up without crying. More I reached out to the Carrera’s. More and more I was able to try and understand. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still a hole in my heart but I do believe, the Universe knows best. i’ll never ever forget the time I donated my kidney to Genaro. if I had another to give, I would. I don’t regret that one bit. it gave him and his family 3 more uninterrupted years together and I gained a beautiful family. my children gained a beautiful family. it was meant to be. can you believe it?! a complete match! a complete match. it’s rare that happens. and it happened for us. 2 ordinary people on this spinning rock. i’d do it again in a heartbeat. my love for the Carrera’s will never cease. sometimes I forget I did what I did. im glad I forget. but I will never, ever forget Genaro and the Carrera’s.
June has a new meaning for me but im no longer isolating because of it. I embrace it. im so grateful for this life changing experience. it was the best decision of my life. thank you Universe for this. i’ve learned and gained so much.
Angels truly exist on earth because you are an angel on earth. The world is so luck to have you.
I'll say it, you're a saint. IT take a lot of courage for you to do that. I admire you more than you could know. You are a true hero! Thank you for keeping the faith. Things happen for a reason, this I know. Thank you for being you.